SIMPSONVILLE — Local father Greg Henson, 47, maintained Tuesday evening that his Roman candle was "supposed to do that" after the firework discharged horizontally into his neighbor's yard, decapitating a decorative lawn flamingo and igniting a small patch of dormant grass.

"That's just how Roman candles work," Henson explained to his visibly skeptical family as they watched smoke rise from the Henderson property next door. "It's called a 'ground bloom' or whatever. Very normal."

Witnesses report the firework, purchased earlier that day from a roadside stand just over the South Carolina border, was inserted into an empty beer bottle for "stability" before being lit with a Bic lighter Henson had to click fourteen times.

"He kept saying 'stand back, stand back' like he knew what he was doing," recalled Henson's wife, Deborah. "Then it just... went sideways. Immediately. Like it was aiming for that flamingo."

The Flamingo

The lawn flamingo, a pink plastic fixture that had stood in the Henderson yard since 2019, was struck directly in the neck by the first projectile. Subsequent fireballs scorched a garden gnome and left a black mark on the vinyl siding.

"That flamingo's name was Gerald," said neighbor Patricia Henderson, 52, surveying the damage. "My granddaughter named him. She's going to be devastated. She's also 23, but still."

When confronted with the destruction, Henson reportedly offered to "buy them a new one" and suggested the flamingo "was looking pretty faded anyway."

"He said Gerald had it coming," Henderson added. "I don't even know what that means."

A Pattern Of Behavior

Those familiar with Henson's annual New Year's Eve displays say this year's incident, while dramatic, was relatively contained compared to previous years.

"In 2022, he set off something that I'm pretty sure was meant for professional use only," said neighbor Tom Wheeler. "Car alarms went off three streets over. My dog didn't come out from under the bed until January 3rd."

Henson's son, Tyler, 16, confirmed that his father approaches fireworks with what he described as "concerning confidence."

"Every year he says 'I've done this a million times,'" Tyler said. "But every year something catches fire that shouldn't catch fire. Last year it was the gutter. Year before that, his shoe. The man doesn't learn."

No Regrets

Despite the damage, Henson expressed satisfaction with the evening's display and announced plans to "go bigger" next year.

"You know what? That Roman candle cost me eight dollars," Henson said, cracking open another beer. "Eight dollars for a solid forty-five seconds of entertainment and a story we'll tell forever. That's value."

When asked if he planned to apologize to the Hendersons, Henson seemed confused by the question.

"Apologize? For what? It's New Year's Eve," he said. "If you don't want fireworks in your yard, move to Canada."

At press time, Henson was attempting to light a second Roman candle using the still-smoldering remains of Gerald.