Welcome to The Upstate Owl. By accessing or using upstateowl.com (the "Site"), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service ("Terms"). If you do not agree to these Terms, do not use the Site.

1. Satire and Entertainment Disclaimer

The Upstate Owl is a satirical publication. All articles, stories, and content on this Site are works of satire, parody, and fiction intended for entertainment purposes only.

The content on this Site is not real news. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either products of the authors' imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), actual events, or real organizations is purely coincidental and intended for comedic effect.

You should not rely on any content on this Site as factual information. We are not responsible for any actions taken based on the mistaken belief that our content is real.

2. Acceptance of Terms

By using this Site, you represent that you are at least 13 years of age and have the legal capacity to enter into these Terms. If you are using the Site on behalf of an organization, you represent that you have authority to bind that organization to these Terms.

3. Intellectual Property

All content on this Site, including but not limited to text, graphics, logos, images, and software, is the property of Dersch Technologies, Inc. or its content suppliers and is protected by United States and international copyright, trademark, and other intellectual property laws.

You may share links to our content and share excerpts with proper attribution. You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, create derivative works from, or commercially exploit our content without prior written permission.

4. User Conduct

You agree not to:

• Use the Site for any unlawful purpose
• Attempt to gain unauthorized access to any part of the Site
• Interfere with or disrupt the Site or servers
• Submit false, misleading, or harmful content through our forms
• Harass, abuse, or harm other users or our staff
• Use automated systems to access the Site without permission
• Republish our content as if it were real news

5. User Submissions

If you submit tips, story ideas, or other content to us, you grant Dersch Technologies, Inc. a non-exclusive, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, and fully sublicensable right to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, and display such content in any media.

You represent that you own or have the necessary rights to submit such content and that it does not violate any third party's rights.

6. Disclaimer of Warranties

THE SITE AND ALL CONTENT ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. To the fullest extent permitted by law, Dersch Technologies, Inc. disclaims all warranties, including but not limited to implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, title, and non-infringement.

We do not warrant that the Site will be uninterrupted, error-free, secure, or free of viruses or other harmful components. We make no warranties about the accuracy, reliability, completeness, or timeliness of any content.

7. Limitation of Liability

TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, DERSCH TECHNOLOGIES, INC., ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, AND AFFILIATES SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, including but not limited to loss of profits, data, use, goodwill, or other intangible losses, resulting from:

• Your use of or inability to use the Site
• Any content obtained from the Site
• Unauthorized access to or alteration of your transmissions or data
• Statements or conduct of any third party on the Site
• Any other matter relating to the Site

In no event shall our total liability exceed one hundred dollars ($100) or the amount you paid us in the past twelve months, whichever is greater.

8. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Dersch Technologies, Inc., its officers, directors, employees, agents, and affiliates from and against any and all claims, damages, obligations, losses, liabilities, costs, and expenses (including attorney's fees) arising from:

• Your use of the Site
• Your violation of these Terms
• Your violation of any third party's rights
• Any content you submit to the Site

9. Third-Party Links and Services

The Site may contain links to third-party websites or services. We are not responsible for the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third-party sites. Your use of third-party sites is at your own risk.

10. Advertising

The Site displays advertisements provided by third parties, including Google AdSense. We are not responsible for the content of these advertisements. Your interactions with advertisers are solely between you and the advertiser.

11. Modifications to Terms

We reserve the right to modify these Terms at any time. Changes will be effective immediately upon posting to the Site. Your continued use of the Site after any changes constitutes acceptance of the new Terms.

12. Termination

We may terminate or suspend your access to the Site immediately, without prior notice, for any reason, including if you breach these Terms. Upon termination, your right to use the Site will immediately cease.

13. Governing Law

These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of South Carolina, United States, without regard to its conflict of law provisions. Any disputes arising under these Terms shall be resolved exclusively in the state or federal courts located in South Carolina.

14. Severability

If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable or invalid, that provision shall be limited or eliminated to the minimum extent necessary, and the remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect.

15. Entire Agreement

These Terms, together with our Privacy Policy, constitute the entire agreement between you and Dersch Technologies, Inc. regarding the Site and supersede all prior agreements and understandings.

16. Contact Us

If you have questions about these Terms, contact us at:

Dersch Technologies, Inc.
Email: dan@upstateowl.com