Sign In

Sunday, February 22, 2026

The Upstate Owl

"Watching the Upstate Since 2024" • Greenville, South Carolina

Politics

BREAKING: Trump Accidentally Purchases Iceland Instead of Greenland

Greenland, Iceland, And Denmark In Awkward Turmoil As Trump Insists He “Was Always Negotiating For Both”

By Staff Writer·
Share:
BREAKING: Trump Accidentally Purchases Iceland Instead of Greenland

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the United States had successfully completed the purchase of Greenland, fulfilling his long-held ambition to acquire the strategic Arctic territory. However, administration officials were scrambling Wednesday morning after discovering the $47 billion transaction had actually secured Iceland instead.

"We got Greenland, it's fantastic, it's ours now," Trump told reporters at the White House before an aide whispered something in his ear and was immediately escorted from the premises. "The ice, the strategic location, the — we're going to build things there. Beautiful things."

The mix-up reportedly occurred when Trump, working from a map during negotiations, pointed to the wrong island. Sources say Danish officials attempted to correct the error multiple times but were told to "stop being difficult" and that "the green one is obviously Greenland."

Icelandic Prime Minister Bjarni Benediktsson expressed confusion at suddenly becoming an American territory. "We received a call at 3 a.m. informing us we were now the 51st state," Benediktsson said. "We tried to explain we are not Greenland and also not for sale, but were told the deal was done and to expect a new flag."

Local Reaction

Dr. Patricia Holden, a geography professor at Furman University in Greenville, said she was "not remotely surprised" by the development.

"I've been teaching the Iceland-Greenland naming quirk for 30 years," Holden said, referring to the historical irony that icy Greenland was named to attract settlers while volcanic Iceland got the less appealing name. "Every semester I have students who mix them up on exams. Usually they don't accidentally purchase one."

Holden added that she would be updating her final exam to include a question about the incident.

Meanwhile, Spartanburg resident Dale Hutchins, who visited Reykjavik in 2019, said he was "excited" about the news. "Does this mean I don't need a passport to go back? Because I'd love to see that geyser again," Hutchins said. "Wait, we bought Iceland? That's the one with the hot springs, right? Oh, that's way better than Greenland."

Administration Response

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt denied any error had occurred, stating that "the President meant to buy Iceland all along" and that Greenland was "never the real target."

"Iceland has tremendous strategic value," Leavitt said. "It's green, it's got tourism, and frankly it's nicer than Greenland, which is mostly ice. The President saw an opportunity and he took it. This is the art of the deal."

When asked why the President had spent five years publicly advocating for the purchase of Greenland specifically, Leavitt replied, "I think you're misremembering that."

Denmark, which governs Greenland, issued a brief statement: "We remain not interested in selling Greenland. We also would like to clarify that we do not own Iceland and cannot sell Iceland. But we appreciate the Americans resolving that confusion on their own."

At press time, Trump had announced plans to rename Iceland to "New Greenland" and was reportedly studying a map of Scandinavia "to see what else looks good."

Satire Disclaimer: This article is satirical content intended for entertainment purposes only. All names, characters, and incidents are fictional. Any resemblance to real events or persons is coincidental. Learn more